Why You Need an Exit Strategy Before You Say Divorce

What is a divorce exit strategy?

An exit strategy is all about the steps you can take in advance to set yourself up for a better divorce process. 

Most people who're considering divorce have these priorities:

• Minimize the impact to your children

• Feel confident that the settlement you're agreeing to is fair

• Keep costs down

• Get through the process without losing your mind 

Taking the time to plan your divorce and have an exit strategy helps with every one of these priorities. 

Let me ask you - would you start a kitchen renovation without a plan?

I'm guessing the answer is no. You wouldn't just start ripping out walls  You'd make a plan; create a budget, do the necessary research, and hire professionals with the expertise you need. 

The divorce process is the same. You need a plan. 

Elements of a Divorce Exit Strategy

• Safety planning - physical, emotional, financial, and digital

• Education about divorce options, processes and terms 

• Exploration of fears and priorities

• A communication plan for when, where, and how to tell your spouse you want a divorce

• Money planning - emergency funds, sources of income and support

When you create a plan with a divorce coach that addresses these elements, you keep costs down, avoid unnecessary conflict, protect your kids, and stay sane throughout the process. 

Benefits of working with a coach to create a divorce exit strategy

• Less fear, more confidence to move forward 

When you're worried about how your spouse will react, if you'll still see your kids, whether you'll get to keep the house or any other number of fears, you're more likely to stay stuck. 

We will identify your biggest fears so you can turn them into problems to solve. Once they become problems to solve, I can help you gather the information you need to overcome those fears and move forward. 

We will identify your priorities so you can stay focused on what's most important. These priorities become your north star so that whatever issue or BS comes up, you don't get pulled off course. 

• Better communication and less conflict with your spouse

Starting off on the right foot can set the tone for a more productive, less conflicted process.

We can work on scripts so you know what to say, how to say it, and when and where you'll deliver the news of your decision. 

We can practice conflict communication strategies to respond to angry texts, emails, and in-person confrontations. 

• More safety - physical, emotional, financial and digital

Unfortunately, safety concerns need to be addressed for many people in advance of a separation or divorce. 

We can create a safety plan that identifies safe people, a safe place, safe finances and safe communication. When you have the comfort of knowing these things, whether you'll have to use them or not, you'll have more ability to move forward. 

We can plan for how to keep your digital information safe and private. We'll plan for how to gather important legal and financial documents ahead of time so you don't lose access to them. 

• Control over costs

Divorce doesn't have to be expensive. There are many options these days to help people keep divorce costs down. We'll look at the differences between divorce process options (DIY  to mediation, Collaborative, and attorney lead)to find the best fit for your priorities and budget.

Speaking of budgets,we can create a divorce budgetso you'll know how you'll pay for this process. If you decide to work with an attorney,coaching can help you use time with your attorney in the most efficient way possible.

The two things that drive up divorce costs are fear and conflict. Coaching helps you identify your fears and priorities, which goes a long way to keeping costs under control. We'll also work on conflict communication skills for negotiation and interactions with your spouse. 

• Better outcomes

In short, having an exit strategy/divorce plan from the get-go means a less messy, less costly, and less damaging divorce process for everyone involved.
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You'll be less fearful, better informed, and more skillful in dealing with each decision and complication along the way. 

If making a divorce plan sounds helpful, book a free 30 minute consultation to talk more.