The Right (and Wrong) Way to Hire a Divorce Attorney
First of all, does everyone going through divorce need an attorney?
The short answer is no.
Even if there’s a lot disagreement.
Even if there’s a lot of conflict.
98% of divorces are not legally complex.
Pro-se divorce (without representation) may be a good option. But divorce without legal representation does not mean you have to do it all by yourself.
You might choose to work with a mediator, certified divorce financial planner, certified divorce lending professional or certified divorce coach.
When should you consider hiring a divorce attorney as a first step?
If your spouse is threatening to cut you off from finances
If your spouse is harassing or hurting you
If your spouse is accusing you of abuse or addiction
If your spouse has or is planning to run off with the children
In those situations, you need legal advice and protection ASAP.
Outside of these legal situations, your best move is to hire a divorce coach to help you decide what will be the best process for you based on your specific circumstances, goals and priorities.
Your mental health and bank account will both benefit from when you become an informed consumer before you hire a divorce attorney.
A divorce attorney can provide a lot of value. They can help you understand the law, the facts, the strength of your case and your options so you’re making informed decisions.
But hiring the wrong lawyer is not only a waste of your time and money, it can actually escalate conflict and compromise your case.
What’s the wrong way to hire a divorce attorney?
Not preparing thoroughly for an initial consultation
Hiring the first attorney you speak with
Choosing a family friend (who may not be experienced with family law)
Making a choice based on price alone
Assuming that a shark lawyer is the best option
Not trusting your instincts or gut
Failing to clarify expectations around communication or case strategy
Abdicating decision making power to the attorney
Being afraid to ask questions
What’s the right way to hire a divorce attorney?
Start with referrals from friends, family or coworkers, but don’t stop there - get referrals from mortgage lenders, realtors, therapists or financial analysts
Research potential attorneys on Super Lawyers or Avvo, your local bar association or your state’s Collaborative Divorce directory
Consult with at least 3 lawyers to get a range of opinions, personalities and experience
Show up prepared with financial information and a list of questions you have prepared with your divorce coach
Remember that you are interviewing the attorney, not the other way around
Sample of great interview questions
Do you specialize in family law in my region or area?
Do you have experience with the special circumstances in my case (such as a military divorce, special needs children, immigration status, etc.)?
What is your typical approach to a case? How you you feel about clients working with a divorce coach or mediator?
Who else will be involved in this case - who’s on your team?
What is your fee structure?
How (and how often) will you communicate with me?
How available are you for any questions I might have?
Do you have room in your schedule to take me on?
Vibe check questions to ask yourself after a consultation with an attorney
Did you feel listened to, heard and understood?
Did they ask you what kind of divorce experience you are hoping for?
Are they a realist or were they just telling you what you want to hear?
Did they just talk about court or did they spend time on alternatives to court?
Were they able to clearly explain things in a way you could understand?
How comfortable did you feel asking follow up questions?
Did you like them?
I hope these ideas and sample questions help you make an informed decision.
If you’re curious about working with me and want to know your options, book a free consultation.
In support,
Heather
